Last week, a fellow member of the Bruce Springsteen fan Facebook group SPRING-NUTS posted “A woman with debilitating depression and anxiety goes to Australia to see Bruce. Eight concerts, five cities, twenty-six days. It’s life changing.” I was immediately convinced this book, “High Hopes: A Memoir” by Anne Able would be a great audiobook for my wife Amy and me to listen to together. I was not wrong.
I went right to Audible, found the title and cashed in a monthly credit to get the book. We promptly started listening. We took in the harrowing opening where Anne's job teaching community college students deteriorated from an inspiring occupation to a dangerous one, where the rage of a frustrated student resulted in him hurling yet another desk at her. This launches our story into motion. At the age of 61, Anne now suddenly needs an outlet that will put a floor under her depression so she won't sink to the bottom of the emotional abyss.
She turns to a very recent discovery in her life: the live music of Bruce Springsteen. Having been forbidden music of any kind in her upbringing, Anne found herself at age 59, “not knowing what a Springsteen was," having never listened to a record or the radio. An invitation from her son and daughter-in-law to attend a Bruce concert was, at first, a hard no. But then she thought about spending time with her kids, and she chose to try it. She loved the experience so much that she attended more concerts in other cities.
So, after the desk-throwing incident suddenly made her choose to quit teaching, Anne knew she needed to throw herself into something. She made the improbable choice to travel alone to Australia for nearly a month, attending several Bruce concerts as he toured through the land down under. There are two problems with this, though. She hated traveling and she hated being alone.
Anne chronicles in the book the way she navigated her fear and the negative self-talk that tends to come with depression and also make it worse. She hears an echo of her chronically disapproving mother judging her as “pathetic” for traveling across the world to follow an aging musician. But will the voice change? Will Anne be able to reframe her experiences in a more self-supporting way? Read (or listen to) the book and find out!
Anne gives a fascinating perspective on Bruce as someone who first discovers rock & roll at a mature age; she offers details we might otherwise take for granted if we're longtime fans of an act since our teen years. She's taken by his smile, his energy, his invitation to dream, to be fully alive. She relates her own depression to learning that Bruce has openly shared his mental health struggles. She observes him working his way through emotional low points that happen in real time in front of the Australian audience. She appreciates how his comebacks from those lows encourage her.
She brings up an interesting nugget she picked up from E Street Band drummer Max Weinberg. He used the Hebrew word “seder” to describe his drumming. We know it as the traditional Passover dinner, but its root meaning is “order.” She extends the metaphor to understand that being a steady, reliable parent for your child into their adulthood is like keeping the beat going while they improvise, explore their possibilities and make mistakes. They can come back to that steady order you provide.
The book also details Anne's journey to becoming a more well-rounded rock fan. Though her entry point is through Bruce, she becomes interested in his influences and those who took their artistic cues from him. She develops a lifetime's worth of rock music knowledge and enthusiasm in a short period of time and finds a new creative voice in her own storytelling. Through the voice of the audiobook's narrator, I hear the rhythmic cadence of Anne's words as she claps and sways and taps and dances her way to a life after 60 that had been forbidden in her adolescence.
One point of curiosity though, thanks to Amy: Did Anne miss out on music during her children's upbringing as well? Was that because, since music was forbidden to her, she had no point of reference to expose her kids to any music?
Another constant throughout the book is Anne's treatment of her fragile mental health with exercise. I should point out here that numerous studies show that exercise has positive effects on the brain that build healthier networks of neurotransmitters, mitigates depressed mood and can even build a good reserve of neurotransmitters to guard against progressive dementia, including Alzheimer's Disease. Anne's trip is meticulously arranged to ensure she has daily access to exercise equipment in all the Australian cities she stays in. The combination of exercise, seeking community, and attending life-affirming events like rock concerts carries much promise for living, and even thriving, with a chronic depressive condition.
If you find the exercise aspect depicted in this memoir helpful in your own life, also check out “Depression Hates a Moving Target: How Running with my Dog Brought Me Back from the Brink” by Nita Sweeney, an author who returned to running with the intention of keeping her depressive episodes at bay.
Whether you're a Bruce fan, don't yet know what a Springsteen is, you are dealing with depression or supporting a loved one who is, you will find a valuable and inspiring story here that provides ample evidence that it's never too late as long as you're alive. Anne ably answers the question “IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE??!!?” in her “High Hopes” memoir.
For more about the benefits of exercise for mental health, check out this 13-minute TED talk by Dr. Wendy Suzuki. It convinced Amy and me to make exercise a steady part of our mental health self care routine.