New Single and Video: Patient Portal

The new song #PatientPortal is out now- and it’s one of the funnier ones that I’d been involved in writing. Amy wrote this with me after we dealt with way too many doctors’ offices and their web sites over the past several months.

You’ll also find it on Apple Music, Spotify, Amazon Music and wherever you stream your music.

#MedicalHumor #ITHumor #TechHumor

The Official Video

Here’s the official video for #PatientPortal. Just click the embedded video below and enjoy!

The Online Concert

I’ll give an online concert to mark this new release on Friday night August 12 at 7:30 PM Eastern-US.

Hop on over to https://livestreamercafe.com and sign in a few minutes before showtime. Then I can take your requests and we can interact more fully. You can also catch a simulcast of my performance live on Twitch, YouTube, Facebook or Twitter.

The Lyrics

Patient Portal
(c) 2022, Lyrics by Jason Didner and Amy Didner; Music by Jason Didner - All Rights Reserved

Verse 1:
I keep typing in my password 
Still the validation fails
One more strike and 
I'll be doing time in password jail

I just want to see my doctor
Is that too much to ask?
Enough watching spinning circles
No more unfulfillable tasks

I've been proving my identity
For all eternity

Chorus:
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
Now patient is the hardest thing to be
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
This portal sucks the soul right out of me

Verse 2:
They said this would be easier
But they only made it hard
My browser freezes when 
I upload my insurance card

Hey - didn't I just fill out this form
Only moments ago? 
The medication list I entered
Where the hell did that go? 

I’ll be answering this questionnaire 
For all eternity

Chorus:
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
Now patient is the hardest thing to be
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
This portal sucks the soul right out of me

Bridge:
This confusing creation
Keeps giving me the blues
This confounding contraption
That even my doctors
Don't know how to use

Chorus:
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
Now patient is the hardest thing to be
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
This portal sucks the soul right out of me

I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal
I'm a mere mortal
Trapped forever in a patient portal

The Single Artwork

Jason Didner's new single "Patient Portal," available at BandCamp, Apple Music, Spotify and wherever you stream music.
Single artwork: Patient Portal by Jason Didner